Saturday, October 16, 2010

Homeopathetic Order Logic

HOL proposes some proof techniques based on the dysmal logic, but extending it to include

proof by dilution (e.g. the 7% solution)
proof by inflation (a universal technique)
proof by surprise (creep up on the proof and exclaim)
proof by diabolization (a fiendish geometric technique)
proof by familiarity ("our old friend...")
proof by indignation ("how can you not realize...")
proof by deformation (if we just twist this a bit here...)
proof by defamation (oh, your one of those people)
proof by descent
proof by geology (that's been known since the pre-cambrian era)

Other techniques are also on offer
for example Adenoid's theorem allows the use of a nerdy american accent, while Mellencamp's method entails loud hard rocking, an the Baker's theorem makes repeated use of the equivalence between 12 and thirteen, while La Mirror's method involves deep reflection. Monroe's doctrine is a died-in-the-wool surefire approach for even the dumbest of people. Finally Gillette's Razor can be employed to separate the sheep from the goats.

Recently I was reading Jorge Luis Borges Imaginary Beings, which refers to the 'Celestial Empire of benevolent Knowledge' in which animals are taxonomised thus:
(a) belonging to the emperor, (b) embalmed, (c) tame,
(d) sucking pigs, (e) sirens, (f) fabulous,
(g) stray dogs,
(h) included in the present classification,
(i) frenzied, (j) innumerable,
(k) drawn with a very fine camelhair brush,
(l) et cetera, (m) having just broken the water pitcher,
(n) that from a long way off look like flies.

roll over linaeus
much better than Fire, Women and Dangerous Things

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misery me, there is a floccipaucinihilipilification (*) of chronsynclastic infundibuli in these parts and I must therefore refer you to frank zappa instead, and go home