Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Travel Risk Assessment Made Simple

The following is taken from the new Unversity of Llambridge's travel risk assessment system - this is part of the training to use the new system - in each pair of risks, if you think the first one applies, then we advise you not to travel. In the case of the second of the pair occurring, your insurance may cover you, or in the worst case, the Government may send gunboats and airlift you out, although they may reserve the right not to. In all cases your mileage wil vary.


Asteroid Strike

Blue Screen takes out all the ticket and time table systems


Super volcano

Regular volcano disrupting flights


Sea level rise and drown all US coastal cities

Tornados disrupting flights


Zombie plague

Trans-species pandemic


Global thermonuclear war

Military invasion


Great depression

World wide banking near collapse


New ice age brings 1km glaciars down over southwestern europe

3 weeks of snow shut down all airports and most roads


Aliens invade earth "to serve man"

Immigrants arrive to work in the health service


The laws of physics change slightly so that moore's law runs out 25 years ago.

A rogue piece of GPU malware melts all the Nvidia devices on the internet


The celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge disrupts human cognition world wide.

Why Fish Don't Exist is compared favourably to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


The Foreign Office travel advice tells Elon Musk that it is now safe to go to Mars

The Home office tells everyone that it is now fine to go to Sidcup

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misery me, there is a floccipaucinihilipilification (*) of chronsynclastic infundibuli in these parts and I must therefore refer you to frank zappa instead, and go home